Final Countdown

This weekend is my last weekend to eat sugar, carbs, and basically anything fattening and delicious, because on Monday I will be starting THIS again and eating stuff like THIS from THIS program.

I really loved the Ideal Protein program last time I did it, and I lost 20 pounds- which I honestly think helped in aiding me to get pregnant with Jaxon.  The program focuses on no sugar, which gives your pancreas a break and causes your body to use your fat as energy.  The first couple days are hard since your body goes into a no-sugar shock, but after that you actually feel better and have more energy than before.

Because I am doing this program, I have to stop breastfeeding (or pumping since that's what I do).  Jaxon never learned to latch on well, so I have always pumped EVERYTHING since he was born.  I only get about 2 oz.total  every time I pump.  Now that he is growing and eats a lot more, I have to supplement with formula to make sure he is getting enough food.  I tried dieting and exercising when he was 2 months old, and I learned when I eat healthy I pretty much get no milk.  However, give me that fattening piece of chocolate cake, and my milk skyrockets.  So, I had to make a choice:

1. Eat high carbs/fat so that I can get a some breast milk that I will combine with formula anyway, hold on to my pregnancy weight, and continue wearing my pregnancy jeans for the rest of my life = unhappy

OR

2. Quit pumping, give Jaxon formula so I can take care of my health, and lose weight so I can feel good about myself again = happy

Surprise! I have chosen the second option.  I know a lot of people say, "It takes a while for the baby weight to come off"  blah blah blah, but the thing is after popping out a 7.5 pound baby, I have lost absolutely NO weight.  My doctor says I am just one of the unlucky women who gain weight while breastfeeding/pumping instead of losing weight.  I am not okay with that.  My weight has always been a roller coaster ride- up and down, up and down.  When you don't feel good about yourself, you suffer, your family suffers, and your husband suffers...if you know what I mean.  I told myself I would pump and give Jaxon breast milk until he is 4 months, and even though I am a week shy of that goal, I am honestly proud I made it as far as I have.  I know giving him breast milk gave him a great start to life since he got a lot of my antibodies during flu/cold season, but I am also confident he will be healthy and happy on formula here on out.  Unfortunately, I have not been blessed with the best metabolism genes.  I am at the heaviest I have ever been, and I know my post-baby body is going to be even harder to whip into shape than before.  I am not expecting to be a size 4 again, but I want to feel proud to look myself in the mirror.  So, here is to feeling great, slimming down, and a new me!

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"

(Summer 2008)