Due Date

It is December 31st.  Today is my due date.  I have been looking forward to this day marked on my calendar for months, but now that it is finally here, I am not happy.  Not having a baby today means that I will be overdue tomorrow.  Just saying the word "overdue" feels like I am saying a 4-letter word.  Not having a baby today also means no baby tax credit for 2010, and an insurance deductible that has to be re-paid all over again tomorrow.  In conclusion, today is not a happy day.  It's actually miserable.  While everyone is toasting to the New Year at midnight tonight, I will be screaming out loud "WHY ME?!"  Okay, I'm done having a pity party for myself.  Now I can look forward to 2011 and know it will be one of the best years of my whole life.  Bring on the labor pains.  I am ready to get this party started!

Update

My mind is blank.  I have nothing interesting to blog about.  The only thing on my mind is getting this baby out, but it seems like that's what my last 3 posts were all about.  I guess this will be considered one of those random updates on life.

Christmas was good.  I missed my family, but luckily Robie's family is the next best thing away from home.  Robie and I had pretty much given each other all our gifts throughout the month, so we didn't have any presents to open on Christmas.  My gifts included a sewing machine (which I don't know how to use yet), a magenta pea coat, and my favorite Murad lip gloss.  Robie got an ipod touch, a beaver golf head cover (from Jaxon), and a new wardrobe for work.  We spent the morning hanging out in our PJs, and went to dinner at Robie's parent's house that afternoon.

Since I didn't have to go back to work yesterday like the rest of the world, I decided to give castor oil a shot at getting this baby out.  Bad idea.  (Those of you who warned me not to try it can now say I told you so.)  I took 2 tbsp with OJ.  It wasn't as bad as I thought to get down, and I really didn't feel anything for hours.  Then, it hit me.  It felt like every organ in my body turned to liquid and shot out of me.  Sorry if that's TMI, but if anyone out there is considering trying it, that should be enough to make them reconsider.  I got excited when I started having a few contractions, but they quickly vanished into nothing.  I should have listened to those who said don't try it, but I think once you get to a certain point being pregnant, you will try ANYTHING- even if other people say not to.  You just hold on to that small glimmer of hope that it might work for you.  Unfortunately, castor oil didn't work, and I still have a giant baby crammed in my uterus.  Dang.

Tomorrow my mom is flying here!  Yay!  I am glad she will be here to keep my mind off the fact that my due date is 3 days away.  No one ever wants to go overdue, but I have a feeling it will happen.  I know he will be born eventually, but every day that goes by I wonder if he's getting TOO big, if he has enough room, if he's still alive, and if he's getting sick swallowing meconium.  It's scary having a baby too early, but I never realized how scary it is having a baby too late.  I am so grateful that my mom is able to take time off to spend with me.  She will be able to spend about 2 weeks here in Utah, and I am excited that she will be here for Jaxon's arrival. 

And now...some comic relief for a way too serious post:

Merry Christmas

When you're feeling down...

...just remember- it could be worse.  Your ankles could disappear, and your feet could look like this.  Just saying.

PS- I have since gotten a much needed pedicure after taking this pic, so don't judge.

And I seriously thought I couldn't get any bigger...hahaha

38 weeks!  Just look how HUGE I am!  AHHH!  My stomach almost doesn't even fit into the picture! I had the pleasure of having my membranes stripped at my Dr. appointment today.  That was quite an experience to say the least.  All day long I have been having horrible irregular contractions, but nothing constant or regular enough to consider going to the hospital.  Dang.  Place your bets now for when you think this baby might come and how big you think he might be.  Looking at my pic, I'm thinking he might be 10-12 pounds...but that might be an under-estimation.  I guess we will find out sooner or later (hopefully sooner).

Full Term

Today I am 37 weeks!  (Meaning you are welcome to come any time now, Jaxon.)  I am pretty excited to have made it to the "watermelon stage" on my blog ticker.

This weekend I will be doing anything and everything I can to accelerate the process of getting this baby OUT.  I am ready, Robie is ready, everything is set up (except the crib- but that is another post entirely), and my body is ready (I don't consider my body an me the same entity anymore). If you happen to stop by, here are a few examples of what you might see me doing this weekend:

Things needed in preparation:

1. A willingness to try everything, no matter how silly, disgusting, or painful it may be.
2. A deep, burning conviction that surgery will not be a part of my birth experience.  (I know if I go overdue, I will have a 10 pound baby that can only come through C-section, and that is NOT happening.)
3. Time.  A lot of time to devote to the cause.

• Jumping on our mini-trampoline while watching horror movies
• Going up and down the stairs 2 steps at a time
• Walking the dogs multiple times a day with one-foot-on and one-foot-off the sidewalk curb
• Bouncing on my Pilate's ball
• Spicy food (this might be impossible to find in Utah)
• Eating pineapples (which probably won't work, but at least they taste good)
• Getting to know my breast pump- aka nipple stimulation
• Herbal tea loaded with unhealthy amounts of sugar
• Foot massages with therapeutic oils

In my last attempt of desperation, here are the things on the list if baby has not arrived by Christmas:

• Castor Oil- I am still hesitant to try this, but who knows what my mental state will be like at 39 weeks pregnant and desperate for a 2010 tax deduction
• Sweeping the membranes-I heard this is super painful, so I am a little scared...
• (WARNING MOM AND DAD- DON'T READ) In the words of Marvin Gaye-"Let's Get It On".  Enough said. (Even though the thought of being touched right now makes me sick since I am so uncomfortably huge)
• Crying- maybe my baby will have sympathy for me?
• Simply telling my baby to "Get the %&#@ out!"

Did I miss anything?  If I did, please let me know.  I know most of them are myths and probably won't work, but I have to say I tried.  I am not expecting anything to happen for a while, and I honestly would prefer a 38-39 week old baby since the longer you wait the healthier they are.  However, I can't afford to have a 40 week old baby, because that pushes things to 2011 and goodbye tax deduction.  So, if anyone needs some good Karma, send your positive labor vibes my way.  Anything is greatly appreciated.


***Coming soon- Nursery Pics!

Honestly

I would be lying if I said I think our baby will be the cutest baby in the whole world.  As a mom, it's natural to think you have the best looking baby on the block.  However, looking at Robie's baby pictures I have a slight fear that our baby may have an early awkward stage in life.  (Sorry if you think this sounds mean.)  It's just that Robie and I both agree that he was not the cutest infant.  He looked a little funny in the first year, but when he finally grew those curls on his head- WATCH OUT LADIES!  He was the most adorable toddler around.  Maybe I'm just nervous because I didn't have any (repeat ANY) hair until I was about 3, and I constantly got mistaken for a little boy who gave dirty looks all the time.  So, if our baby gets my bad hair genes, things could be a disaster!  If you think I sound a little paranoid and stressed, you are probably right.  Since I don't get much sleep anymore, my mind has been busy thinking about all the "What If" situations that could happen during and after birth.  I have been having nightmares of anything and everything going wrong, and it has made me slightly nervous to think I will be responsible for a tiny human in a few short weeks.  I think it's natural to have a brief freak out moment at the end of pregnancy (right?), but inside I know the moment I see my baby, looks will be the LAST thing on my mind.  I will be consumed with abundant love and joy for such a miracle, and I will feel so happy and blessed that Heavenly Father has sent an angel into my arms.  Robie and I are so ready to be parents!  At my last doctor appointment, I was 1cm dilated and 60% effaced.  I know that doesn't really mean anything, since women can stay at that level for weeks, but I figure something is better than nothing.  We can't wait to meet you baby Jaxon Robie Fullmer!  We love you SO much!

How cute is that face?!  ADORABLE!

Looking for an Internship?

Since I will be on maternity leave soon, my wonderful job is hiring an intern to bridge the gap when I am gone.  So, if you or anyone you know is wanting to get their foot in the door at an AWESOME online marketing company, here is your chance.  Plus, you will coordinate with the most amazing boss ever (that's me).  Check out the deets here:

http://orangesoda.iapplicants.com/ViewJob-80877.html

8 months

Robie and I took this picture together on Thanksgiving.  A few days ago, I showed it to him when I uploaded it on our computer.  Robie will hate me for sharing this, but this is what he said to me:

"I don't think you should take pictures of yourself from the front anymore.  It makes you look really huge."

FYI-all you men out there.  This is NOT ( I repeat NOT) SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO A PREGNANT WOMAN.  I immediately started sobbing with snot coming out of my nose, and I reminded him that some thoughts should be kept inside of his head instead of spoken out loud.  I could tell he felt really bad, and I knew he was not trying to be mean or hurt my feelings at all.  He was just stating the facts like guys often do (even though they should just keep their mouths shut), but I guess it's good Robie is so honest.  He's right- I am huge.  Standing hurts, sitting hurts, and lying down hurts even worse.  EVERYTHING is swollen, stretch marks cover my body, and the soft baby kicks that I used to love have turned into miserable sharp jabs that make me cry.  Being 8 months pregnant is no fun AT ALL.  I don't know what I expected, but definitely not this.  I knew the last month would be hard, but I never thought it would be this hard.  I am thankful for the blessing we have of a baby, but I am now ready for the actual blessing part to get here and hold some tangible evidence that all this hard work is actually worth it.  (I know it will be once I see my sweet little baby boy's face.)  I guess from now on, I will stick to taking pictures from a side angle so I don't look "really huge".