One of my favorite things to do is watch Jaxon sleeping. He makes so many faces- you can only wonder what he dreams about. At 3am I decided to capture some of these faces on video. My favorite part is the last few seconds, because he gives the biggest smile ever. So adorable!
It's hard to get a good picture of a newborn with their eyes open, because every time a camera flash goes off they blink. Instead, I decided to take a video. I love how in only 2 weeks Jax has become so much more aware of his surroundings and has even made a few cooing noises. I already feel like he is growing up so fast.
On a side note, I just looked down to find a baseball sized milk spot soaking through my shirt on my right boob. I am wearing nursing pads too. Today is going to be a great day...
Monday, January 17, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
1/3/11
If you read my blog, you know I tried anything and everything to try and get Jaxon here before 2011. Well, I can honestly say NOTHING worked. Babies will come when they want to come. Two days before Jaxon was born, I even tried bowling. That didn't work either.
Here is my final progression photo.
Around 8am on Monday, January 3rd, I woke up to the dogs begging to go outside. Robie had just walked out the door for work, so I knew it was my job to let the dogs out. I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom to pee as usual. After peeing, I stood up and was concerned because I was still peeing my pants. I seriously thought I had lost control of my bladder. I sat down to pee again, since I guess I wasn't done from the first time. When I stood up again, I realized quickly from the trickle trail I was leaving that I was not peeing my pants. My water had broke. I was super excited, and woke my mom up with the good news. I decided to take a shower to pass time, because I knew labor was a long process and I didn't want to rush getting to the hospital. After my shower, I decided I should probably call Robie and let him know what was going on. I told him on the phone that my water had broke, and all he frantically said "Okay, bye" and hung up. He immediately left work and came home. By the time he got home, my contractions were super strong and we finished packing our bags for the hospital. We got in the car, and I started timing my contractions on this ipod app we downloaded a few nights before. My mom followed in a car behind us. My contractions started at 7 minutes apart, then 5 minutes, 3 minutes, and 2 minutes apart- I knew we needed to get to the hospital fast!
Since I chose to deliver in American Fork, the drive to the hospital was a lot longer than it would have been if I would have delivered in Provo. When we FINALLY got to the hospital, I felt like I was going to die. My contractions were really strong, and all I wanted was an epidural before they got any worse. I was admitted and thought for sure I would be dilated to at least a 5, but I was wrong. I was only a 3. Ugh! As the contractions kept getting stronger, I started feeling nauseous and just wanted an epidural immediately. Luckily, it didn't take long for the attractive looking anesthesiologist to come in. He was a lifesaver! The epidural was really not as bad as I thought it would be, but when comparing it to the contractions I was having someone could have cut off my arm and that would have been nothing. I can honestly say an epidural is one of the best things invented on this whole planet. Once things went numb, I was seriously in HEAVEN. Since I was still dilated to a 3, my nurse decided to put me on a low dose of pitocin to get things moving faster. She tried to put an iv in my right hand, but after digging around for my vein for a good 40 seconds, she gave up and moved on to my left hand. That was probably the most painful part, besides the contractions, for the whole labor.
Since I was numb and not feeling anything, I decided to take a nap. I slept for about 45 minutes, and was woken up when the nurse saw Jaxon's heart rate dropping during each of my contractions. She wanted to get a better look at how strong my contractions were, so she put in an internal monitor which could measure the contractions more accurately. She quickly realized my contractions were much stronger than she thought, and immediately took me off the pitocin. Then, my doctor came in to check me, and everyone was shocked to learn I was already dilated to a 10. Yes, I went from a 3 to a 10 in 45 minutes (and slept through the whole thing). This would have been awesome, except for the fact that I had the Strep B bacteria and needed to be on antibiotics for at least 4 hours before delivering or Jaxon would most likely be sick. So, the nurse made me wait an hour before I was allowed to start pushing, so I could try and get antibiotics in my system.
When it was finally time to push, it was just the nurse, Robie, and me in the room. I pushed and pushed for 2.5 hours. Robie was so good and didn't look down the whole time (he had strict instructions not to look down). Finally, the doctor came in during the last few pushes, and I was so excited that I was about to meet my little baby. As I gathered the strength for the final pushes, Jaxon Robie Fullmer was born at 4:40pm. I waited and waited to hear Jaxon cry, but there was nothing but silence. Suddenly, nurses were flooding into our room left and right. I finally knew something was wrong when a nurse got on the phone next to me and called for respiratory back up saying, "Run! Run Fast!" It was the scariest moment of my whole life. Robie's face went from the happiest moment of his life to panic. Nurses were running everywhere saying things like, "He's not breathing" and "We need backup". Then, my doctor held up the umbilical cord with a shocked look on his face. It had a double knot in it. He told me in all his years, he had never seen a double knot before. Meanwhile, Jaxon was still not breathing. After what seemed like an eternity, one of the nurses finally said the best words I had ever heard, "He's breathing." Jaxon was breathing a little on his own, but he was still not crying. They quickly took his weight at 7 pounds 5 ounces, let me give him a kiss on the head, and took him away to hook him up to oxygen in the NICU.
I think every mother imagines the deliver of her baby to be an amazing experience when they put your baby on your chest and you see the miracle you created for the first time before you. Then, you look at your husband and smile at the life you created together. Instead of that special moment, I was left alone with no baby and no husband (since Robie followed Jaxon to make sure he was okay). I was so shocked and scared that I could not even cry. I just prayed over and over again that Jaxon would be okay. I had to wait until my epidural wore off (which took hours) before I was allowed to see Jaxon for the first time. When I finally got moved downstairs to see Jaxon, it was bittersweet. I was relieved to see him screaming at the top of his lungs, because it meant he was breathing, but it was so sad to see all the wires and tubes he was hooked up to. Apparently, he was not only on oxygen, but he had to have antibiotics pumped into him since he had contracted the Strep B bacteria I had. I couldn't even hold him, and I wished so badly I could take his pain away.
For the next few days, Robie and I visited our little boy in the NICU and watched as the nurses were able to slowly take him off oxygen and lower his doses of antibiotics. He progressed a little every day. Before he could go home, he had to show he was eating well. That was no problem. They boy LOVES to eat! We were finally able to take him home at 10pm on Thursday night. I was a little nervous to leave the comfort of the wonderful nurses in the NICU, but I was excited that we could finally take our little guy home with us.
Jaxon has been doing really well at home. Like most babies, he loves to sleep during the day and be wide awake at night, so I am working to flip that schedule around. I absolutely am in love with my baby! I love being a mom- it's pretty much the greatest thing in the world- so great that there are no exact words for the feeling. Even more, I love seeing Robie as a dad. It is so cute seeing him react to Jaxon and take care of him. I am excited for Jaxon to get bigger and for us to be able to interact with him more, but I am definitely enjoying him being little right now. I'm in no hurry to have him get bigger anytime soon.
We are so grateful for Jaxon in our lives. Thanks to all our family and friends who have texted, called, written, and given support for us and our new baby. We love you all. I am also so thankful for my mom who has been a huge help with everything. She used all her sick days for the year to be with us during Jaxon's arrival, and we are so thankful for the big help she has been. We are very thankful to our Heavenly Father that everything turned out well and Jaxon is healthy. We are so excited for the many new adventures parenthood has in store. We love you Jaxon!
My mom, me, and Robie at the bowling alley. One of these things is not like the other. Can you guess which one?
Here is my final progression photo.
Since I chose to deliver in American Fork, the drive to the hospital was a lot longer than it would have been if I would have delivered in Provo. When we FINALLY got to the hospital, I felt like I was going to die. My contractions were really strong, and all I wanted was an epidural before they got any worse. I was admitted and thought for sure I would be dilated to at least a 5, but I was wrong. I was only a 3. Ugh! As the contractions kept getting stronger, I started feeling nauseous and just wanted an epidural immediately. Luckily, it didn't take long for the attractive looking anesthesiologist to come in. He was a lifesaver! The epidural was really not as bad as I thought it would be, but when comparing it to the contractions I was having someone could have cut off my arm and that would have been nothing. I can honestly say an epidural is one of the best things invented on this whole planet. Once things went numb, I was seriously in HEAVEN. Since I was still dilated to a 3, my nurse decided to put me on a low dose of pitocin to get things moving faster. She tried to put an iv in my right hand, but after digging around for my vein for a good 40 seconds, she gave up and moved on to my left hand. That was probably the most painful part, besides the contractions, for the whole labor.
Since I was numb and not feeling anything, I decided to take a nap. I slept for about 45 minutes, and was woken up when the nurse saw Jaxon's heart rate dropping during each of my contractions. She wanted to get a better look at how strong my contractions were, so she put in an internal monitor which could measure the contractions more accurately. She quickly realized my contractions were much stronger than she thought, and immediately took me off the pitocin. Then, my doctor came in to check me, and everyone was shocked to learn I was already dilated to a 10. Yes, I went from a 3 to a 10 in 45 minutes (and slept through the whole thing). This would have been awesome, except for the fact that I had the Strep B bacteria and needed to be on antibiotics for at least 4 hours before delivering or Jaxon would most likely be sick. So, the nurse made me wait an hour before I was allowed to start pushing, so I could try and get antibiotics in my system.
When it was finally time to push, it was just the nurse, Robie, and me in the room. I pushed and pushed for 2.5 hours. Robie was so good and didn't look down the whole time (he had strict instructions not to look down). Finally, the doctor came in during the last few pushes, and I was so excited that I was about to meet my little baby. As I gathered the strength for the final pushes, Jaxon Robie Fullmer was born at 4:40pm. I waited and waited to hear Jaxon cry, but there was nothing but silence. Suddenly, nurses were flooding into our room left and right. I finally knew something was wrong when a nurse got on the phone next to me and called for respiratory back up saying, "Run! Run Fast!" It was the scariest moment of my whole life. Robie's face went from the happiest moment of his life to panic. Nurses were running everywhere saying things like, "He's not breathing" and "We need backup". Then, my doctor held up the umbilical cord with a shocked look on his face. It had a double knot in it. He told me in all his years, he had never seen a double knot before. Meanwhile, Jaxon was still not breathing. After what seemed like an eternity, one of the nurses finally said the best words I had ever heard, "He's breathing." Jaxon was breathing a little on his own, but he was still not crying. They quickly took his weight at 7 pounds 5 ounces, let me give him a kiss on the head, and took him away to hook him up to oxygen in the NICU.
I think every mother imagines the deliver of her baby to be an amazing experience when they put your baby on your chest and you see the miracle you created for the first time before you. Then, you look at your husband and smile at the life you created together. Instead of that special moment, I was left alone with no baby and no husband (since Robie followed Jaxon to make sure he was okay). I was so shocked and scared that I could not even cry. I just prayed over and over again that Jaxon would be okay. I had to wait until my epidural wore off (which took hours) before I was allowed to see Jaxon for the first time. When I finally got moved downstairs to see Jaxon, it was bittersweet. I was relieved to see him screaming at the top of his lungs, because it meant he was breathing, but it was so sad to see all the wires and tubes he was hooked up to. Apparently, he was not only on oxygen, but he had to have antibiotics pumped into him since he had contracted the Strep B bacteria I had. I couldn't even hold him, and I wished so badly I could take his pain away.
For the next few days, Robie and I visited our little boy in the NICU and watched as the nurses were able to slowly take him off oxygen and lower his doses of antibiotics. He progressed a little every day. Before he could go home, he had to show he was eating well. That was no problem. They boy LOVES to eat! We were finally able to take him home at 10pm on Thursday night. I was a little nervous to leave the comfort of the wonderful nurses in the NICU, but I was excited that we could finally take our little guy home with us.
Jaxon has been doing really well at home. Like most babies, he loves to sleep during the day and be wide awake at night, so I am working to flip that schedule around. I absolutely am in love with my baby! I love being a mom- it's pretty much the greatest thing in the world- so great that there are no exact words for the feeling. Even more, I love seeing Robie as a dad. It is so cute seeing him react to Jaxon and take care of him. I am excited for Jaxon to get bigger and for us to be able to interact with him more, but I am definitely enjoying him being little right now. I'm in no hurry to have him get bigger anytime soon.
We are so grateful for Jaxon in our lives. Thanks to all our family and friends who have texted, called, written, and given support for us and our new baby. We love you all. I am also so thankful for my mom who has been a huge help with everything. She used all her sick days for the year to be with us during Jaxon's arrival, and we are so thankful for the big help she has been. We are very thankful to our Heavenly Father that everything turned out well and Jaxon is healthy. We are so excited for the many new adventures parenthood has in store. We love you Jaxon!
Off of the surfactant and progressing...
Holding him for the first time
Progressing more and off the oxygen
Finally able to go home
So adorable!
Home at last!
Hanging out with Grandma Wright
and Grandma and Grandpa Fullmer
Cousins
Uncle Scottie
Meeting his friend Luther Gabriel Giddings
First family picture
We love you Jaxon!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
He's Here!
Jaxon Robie Fullmer was born on Monday, January 3rd at 4:40pm weighing 7 pounds 5 ounces and measuring 20 inches long. I promise to blog about the birth story and post far too many cute pics soon.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Due Date
It is December 31st. Today is my due date. I have been looking forward to this day marked on my calendar for months, but now that it is finally here, I am not happy. Not having a baby today means that I will be overdue tomorrow. Just saying the word "overdue" feels like I am saying a 4-letter word. Not having a baby today also means no baby tax credit for 2010, and an insurance deductible that has to be re-paid all over again tomorrow. In conclusion, today is not a happy day. It's actually miserable. While everyone is toasting to the New Year at midnight tonight, I will be screaming out loud "WHY ME?!" Okay, I'm done having a pity party for myself. Now I can look forward to 2011 and know it will be one of the best years of my whole life. Bring on the labor pains. I am ready to get this party started!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Update
My mind is blank. I have nothing interesting to blog about. The only thing on my mind is getting this baby out, but it seems like that's what my last 3 posts were all about. I guess this will be considered one of those random updates on life.
Christmas was good. I missed my family, but luckily Robie's family is the next best thing away from home. Robie and I had pretty much given each other all our gifts throughout the month, so we didn't have any presents to open on Christmas. My gifts included a sewing machine (which I don't know how to use yet), a magenta pea coat, and my favorite Murad lip gloss. Robie got an ipod touch, a beaver golf head cover (from Jaxon), and a new wardrobe for work. We spent the morning hanging out in our PJs, and went to dinner at Robie's parent's house that afternoon.
Since I didn't have to go back to work yesterday like the rest of the world, I decided to give castor oil a shot at getting this baby out. Bad idea. (Those of you who warned me not to try it can now say I told you so.) I took 2 tbsp with OJ. It wasn't as bad as I thought to get down, and I really didn't feel anything for hours. Then, it hit me. It felt like every organ in my body turned to liquid and shot out of me. Sorry if that's TMI, but if anyone out there is considering trying it, that should be enough to make them reconsider. I got excited when I started having a few contractions, but they quickly vanished into nothing. I should have listened to those who said don't try it, but I think once you get to a certain point being pregnant, you will try ANYTHING- even if other people say not to. You just hold on to that small glimmer of hope that it might work for you. Unfortunately, castor oil didn't work, and I still have a giant baby crammed in my uterus. Dang.
Tomorrow my mom is flying here! Yay! I am glad she will be here to keep my mind off the fact that my due date is 3 days away. No one ever wants to go overdue, but I have a feeling it will happen. I know he will be born eventually, but every day that goes by I wonder if he's getting TOO big, if he has enough room, if he's still alive, and if he's getting sick swallowing meconium. It's scary having a baby too early, but I never realized how scary it is having a baby too late. I am so grateful that my mom is able to take time off to spend with me. She will be able to spend about 2 weeks here in Utah, and I am excited that she will be here for Jaxon's arrival.
And now...some comic relief for a way too serious post:
Christmas was good. I missed my family, but luckily Robie's family is the next best thing away from home. Robie and I had pretty much given each other all our gifts throughout the month, so we didn't have any presents to open on Christmas. My gifts included a sewing machine (which I don't know how to use yet), a magenta pea coat, and my favorite Murad lip gloss. Robie got an ipod touch, a beaver golf head cover (from Jaxon), and a new wardrobe for work. We spent the morning hanging out in our PJs, and went to dinner at Robie's parent's house that afternoon.
Since I didn't have to go back to work yesterday like the rest of the world, I decided to give castor oil a shot at getting this baby out. Bad idea. (Those of you who warned me not to try it can now say I told you so.) I took 2 tbsp with OJ. It wasn't as bad as I thought to get down, and I really didn't feel anything for hours. Then, it hit me. It felt like every organ in my body turned to liquid and shot out of me. Sorry if that's TMI, but if anyone out there is considering trying it, that should be enough to make them reconsider. I got excited when I started having a few contractions, but they quickly vanished into nothing. I should have listened to those who said don't try it, but I think once you get to a certain point being pregnant, you will try ANYTHING- even if other people say not to. You just hold on to that small glimmer of hope that it might work for you. Unfortunately, castor oil didn't work, and I still have a giant baby crammed in my uterus. Dang.
Tomorrow my mom is flying here! Yay! I am glad she will be here to keep my mind off the fact that my due date is 3 days away. No one ever wants to go overdue, but I have a feeling it will happen. I know he will be born eventually, but every day that goes by I wonder if he's getting TOO big, if he has enough room, if he's still alive, and if he's getting sick swallowing meconium. It's scary having a baby too early, but I never realized how scary it is having a baby too late. I am so grateful that my mom is able to take time off to spend with me. She will be able to spend about 2 weeks here in Utah, and I am excited that she will be here for Jaxon's arrival.
And now...some comic relief for a way too serious post:
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
When you're feeling down...
...just remember- it could be worse. Your ankles could disappear, and your feet could look like this. Just saying.
PS- I have since gotten a much needed pedicure after taking this pic, so don't judge.
Friday, December 17, 2010
And I seriously thought I couldn't get any bigger...hahaha
Friday, December 10, 2010
Full Term
Today I am 37 weeks! (Meaning you are welcome to come any time now, Jaxon.) I am pretty excited to have made it to the "watermelon stage" on my blog ticker.
This weekend I will be doing anything and everything I can to accelerate the process of getting this baby OUT. I am ready, Robie is ready, everything is set up (except the crib- but that is another post entirely), and my body is ready (I don't consider my body an me the same entity anymore). If you happen to stop by, here are a few examples of what you might see me doing this weekend:
Things needed in preparation:
Things needed in preparation:
- A willingness to try everything, no matter how silly, disgusting, or painful it may be.
- A deep, burning conviction that surgery will not be a part of my birth experience. (I know if I go overdue, I will have a 10 pound baby that can only come through C-section, and that is NOT happening.)
- Time. A lot of time to devote to the cause.
- Jumping on our mini-trampoline while watching horror movies
- Going up and down the stairs 2 steps at a time
- Walking the dogs multiple times a day with one-foot-on and one-foot-off the sidewalk curb
- Bouncing on my Pilate's ball
- Spicy food (this might be impossible to find in Utah)
- Eating pineapples (which probably won't work, but at least they taste good)
- Getting to know my breast pump- aka nipple stimulation
- Herbal tea loaded with unhealthy amounts of sugar
- Foot massages with therapeutic oils
In my last attempt of desperation, here are the things on the list if baby has not arrived by Christmas:
- Castor Oil- I am still hesitant to try this, but who knows what my mental state will be like at 39 weeks pregnant and desperate for a 2010 tax deduction
- Sweeping the membranes-I heard this is super painful, so I am a little scared...
- (WARNING MOM AND DAD- DON'T READ) In the words of Marvin Gaye-"Let's Get It On". Enough said. (Even though the thought of being touched right now makes me sick since I am so uncomfortably huge)
- Crying- maybe my baby will have sympathy for me?
- Simply telling my baby to "Get the %&#@ out!"
Did I miss anything? If I did, please let me know. I know most of them are myths and probably won't work, but I have to say I tried. I am not expecting anything to happen for a while, and I honestly would prefer a 38-39 week old baby since the longer you wait the healthier they are. However, I can't afford to have a 40 week old baby, because that pushes things to 2011 and goodbye tax deduction. So, if anyone needs some good Karma, send your positive labor vibes my way. Anything is greatly appreciated.
***Coming soon- Nursery Pics!
***Coming soon- Nursery Pics!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Honestly
I would be lying if I said I think our baby will be the cutest baby in the whole world. As a mom, it's natural to think you have the best looking baby on the block. However, looking at Robie's baby pictures I have a slight fear that our baby may have an early awkward stage in life. (Sorry if you think this sounds mean.) It's just that Robie and I both agree that he was not the cutest infant. He looked a little funny in the first year, but when he finally grew those curls on his head- WATCH OUT LADIES! He was the most adorable toddler around. Maybe I'm just nervous because I didn't have any (repeat ANY) hair until I was about 3, and I constantly got mistaken for a little boy who gave dirty looks all the time. So, if our baby gets my bad hair genes, things could be a disaster! If you think I sound a little paranoid and stressed, you are probably right. Since I don't get much sleep anymore, my mind has been busy thinking about all the "What If" situations that could happen during and after birth. I have been having nightmares of anything and everything going wrong, and it has made me slightly nervous to think I will be responsible for a tiny human in a few short weeks. I think it's natural to have a brief freak out moment at the end of pregnancy (right?), but inside I know the moment I see my baby, looks will be the LAST thing on my mind. I will be consumed with abundant love and joy for such a miracle, and I will feel so happy and blessed that Heavenly Father has sent an angel into my arms. Robie and I are so ready to be parents! At my last doctor appointment, I was 1cm dilated and 60% effaced. I know that doesn't really mean anything, since women can stay at that level for weeks, but I figure something is better than nothing. We can't wait to meet you baby Jaxon Robie Fullmer! We love you SO much!
How cute is that face?! ADORABLE!
Friday, December 3, 2010
Looking for an Internship?
Since I will be on maternity leave soon, my wonderful job is hiring an intern to bridge the gap when I am gone. So, if you or anyone you know is wanting to get their foot in the door at an AWESOME online marketing company, here is your chance. Plus, you will coordinate with the most amazing boss ever (that's me). Check out the deets here:
http://orangesoda.iapplicants.com/ViewJob-80877.html
http://orangesoda.iapplicants.com/ViewJob-80877.html
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
8 months
Robie and I took this picture together on Thanksgiving. A few days ago, I showed it to him when I uploaded it on our computer. Robie will hate me for sharing this, but this is what he said to me:
"I don't think you should take pictures of yourself from the front anymore. It makes you look really huge."
FYI-all you men out there. This is NOT ( I repeat NOT) SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO A PREGNANT WOMAN. I immediately started sobbing with snot coming out of my nose, and I reminded him that some thoughts should be kept inside of his head instead of spoken out loud. I could tell he felt really bad, and I knew he was not trying to be mean or hurt my feelings at all. He was just stating the facts like guys often do (even though they should just keep their mouths shut), but I guess it's good Robie is so honest. He's right- I am huge. Standing hurts, sitting hurts, and lying down hurts even worse. EVERYTHING is swollen, stretch marks cover my body, and the soft baby kicks that I used to love have turned into miserable sharp jabs that make me cry. Being 8 months pregnant is no fun AT ALL. I don't know what I expected, but definitely not this. I knew the last month would be hard, but I never thought it would be this hard. I am thankful for the blessing we have of a baby, but I am now ready for the actual blessing part to get here and hold some tangible evidence that all this hard work is actually worth it. (I know it will be once I see my sweet little baby boy's face.) I guess from now on, I will stick to taking pictures from a side angle so I don't look "really huge".
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