simplifying things

I already posted about Jaxon's birthday celebration in Texas, but this post is about his party when we got home.  I started planning out details for Jaxon's birthday party when he was born.  I started a folder on my computer, and filled it with cute party themes and ideas from the internet.  I even spent weeks on Pinterest pinning picture perfect scenarios of how I wanted his party to look.  I wanted to pull off the cutest birthday party ever.  I wanted to do a cookies and milk bar, filled with every cookie imaginable.  I wanted to buy big glass jars to put the cookies in, and I wanted to label each jar with a cute ribbon and identification card.  I wanted to have a cute birthday background behind the table, so when I took pictures you couldn't see the clutter in my kitchen.  I wanted to have vintage milk jars with red and white stripped straws for people to sip their flavored milk in. I wanted to make personalized party hats and transform my house into a spotless wonderland.  About a month before his party, I started getting really stressed thinking about all the money and time I would need to spend for this perfect scenario I had in my head.  It was all getting out of control, and then I read this quote on a friend's facebook page:

“We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are.” Marjorie Hinckley

Was planning the perfect party important?  No.  Would Jaxon care about the fancy details?  No.  Was I being totally immature in trying to prove something?  Yes.  So, I took a step back, re-evaluated my priorities, and decided to simplify things.  Instead of buying glass jars, I put the cookies on plates.  Instead of fancy milk glasses and straws, I bought plastic cups at Wal-Mart.  We had soup, Capri Sun drinks for the kids, and bought a few balloons.  It was simple, and it was fabulous.

I have a quote on my bathroom mirror that says, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."  Next to it is a picture of myself when I was 130 pounds and wearing a size 4.  I was hot.  I look at it everyday wishing I could be tiny again.  Today I took down that quote and replaced it with the one I posted by Marjorie Hinckley.  Instead of skinny hot, I am now a different kind of hot.  I have curvy hips and a few awesome purple battle wounds (stretch marks) from carrying and delivering a baby.  I am so honored and privileged to be a mom, and my mommy scars are worth every minute I get to raise my beautiful little boy.   No longer will I wish for something that once was, because the person I am now has so much more joy than the person I was then.  There is always room for improvement, but I want to learn to be content with what I am now.  I want to stop trying to prove something, and I want to simplify things and enjoy life one day at a time.  I can still strive to be my best self, but I don't have to become something I am not.  This doesn't mean I am going to be lazy and not care anymore.  I still want to challenge myself, work out, discover new things, make cool crafts, and learn new recipes, but "at a pace that is comfortable". I need to remember I can't do it all at once, and that is totally okay.

I don't have any perfect party pictures that belong on Pinterest for people to oooh and awww about, but I do have pictures, and they are worth 1,000 words and more.  Thanks to everyone who came and celebrated with us!  It was so much fun!

Cousin Ellie giving Jax some birthday advise

Robie helping the kids with their party poppers during Jax's bday song