No Soliciting Please

Solicitors love my street. I probably get at least 2 solicitors a week knocking on my door trying to get me to buy vacuums, sign up for a magazine subscription, or convert to their religion. I hate solicitors. I have the hardest time saying NO to people. That is probably my biggest weakness, and it gets me in trouble a lot. I got better at saying no when I was pregnant, and solicitors were not a problem. Sometimes those bitchy pregnancy hormones can be a good thing, because when you're screaming like a crazy person, people tend to leave you alone. But now, I don't have that excuse to fall back on, so I have to be a big girl and toughen up when these solicitors come around.

I got a peep hole installed in our front door. It's nice being able to see who is outside before answering the door, but stupid me forgets to use it half the time and that's how you get stuck in a never-ending conversation with the Jehovah Witnesses. (Nice little old ladies, but it took me 3 months to get them to stop coming to my house.)

Sometimes you get the cute little kids with their cookie dough fundraisers who stop by, and who can say no to them...or the girl scouts...they can stop at my house anytime. I also don't mind local charities or high school athletes doing fundraisers. I usually give them a $5 bill to help them out. It's the creepers and the "I won't take no for an answer" solicitors that I just CAN'T STAND.

Two weeks ago, I had the creeper type knock on my door. I forgot to look in the peep hole, and I answered the door. This guy was there and asked me if I use tissues. Tissues? Really? Then he handed me a package of tissues, and told me to wait there for a second. Not to judge, but the guy looked like he just got out of rehab and I got a creepy bad feeling deep down that told me this is not good. I knew Jaxon was playing inside the house, and my mama bear protection instincts were kicking in if this guy were going to try anything shady. It also didn't help that our dogs were attack barking at this guy. Attack barking is different from normal barking. They only attack bark when they feel danger, so that also made me feel a little concerned. The creeper went to his van, where there was another creepy man wearing a hat inside, and he grabbed a giant KIRBY VACUUM box out of the back. I'm still standing there holding the tissues thinking, "A Kirby Vacuum salesman? Really? Don't these guys wear suits? Where is his briefcase or notebook for writing down sales? Why is the box he is carrying all dented and muddy?" The next thing I know, the man was practically up against me saying his manager (the man in the car) wants him to show me something in my house. He never asked if he could come in. He just started trying to walk in my house without my permission to "show me something". And that, ladies and gentlemen, is when I about flipped. Those pregnancy hormones must have made a surprise appearance, because my mama bear instinct kicked in and I pushed back at him saying NO. Still, he tried to get inside saying his manager will be mad if he doesn't "show me something", and that is when I handed him back his creeper tissues and slammed the door in his face. I locked my door and looked out my window to see what he was doing, and he just ran back to his van and quickly drove away. It was weird. Way weird. I had that dirty deep down gut feeling with me the rest of the day. Who knows what could have happened. Maybe he really was a vacuum salesman, or maybe not, but I am glad I wasn't able to find out.

The next day, I decided I was done with solicitors. Done! I printed up a sign, slapped it on some scrapbook paper, hot glued a cheap magnet to the back, and put it on my door. I like having it on a magnet, so I can take it off or change the design later if I want to. So far, it has worked 100%. I'm sure soon there will be someone who will still knock on my door selling the latest trend, but at least now I can just point to my sign and say no (with a smile of course).